01. There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know.
02. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
03. Few women admit their age; few men act it.
04. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
05. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
06. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
07. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
08. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
09. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
10. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
11. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
12. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
13. I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
14. I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
15. Don't steal. The government hates competition.
16. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
17. If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
18. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
19. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
20. If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
21. A day without sunshine is like, night.
22. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
23. Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please?
24. Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
25. Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.
26. Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
27. In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
28. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
29. Here I am! What are your other two wishes?
30. To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.
31. Just got lost in thought, and it was unfamiliar territory.
32. Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician.
33. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
34. The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.
35. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
36. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
