7 Signs You've Given Up On Getting Laid

Not included: spending all your time on a blog and whining about how you never get laid. List from The Smoking Jacket.

THE PRESENCE OF VELCRO

Shoes that stay on with a couple strips of Velcro are highly recommended—for the elderly, the retarded or the shitfaced. If you’re none of those three, learn how to deal with a fucking pair of shoelaces. Or a shoehorn, at least. And if your wallet closes