Obnoxious "Unattended Children" Signs Of The Day

I'm no fan of unattended kids but damn, I hate stores with passive-aggressive signs like these, probably because they never have just one. "No smoking." "No food or drink allowed." "If you break it, you buy it." "In God we trust. All others pay cash." "Restrooms for customers ONLY." "Do NOT use your cell phone at the register." "No refunds without receipt!" blah blah blah. I want to go in with a