7 Things I Won't Wear (Of The Day)

I won't wear them. You can't make me.1. SANDALSDude feet are nasty. Hairy toes and fungi -- no. Hide that shit. I do.2. COLOGNEMy uncle Roy wears enough for both of us. And his two sons. And his four brothers. And every other dude in Warner Robins, Georgia and probably some in Macon, too.3. BACKWARDS BASEBALL CAPIf I were 9, maybe. Or Bazooka Joe.4. HAWAIIAN SHIRTSLookin' good, dad. Ugh. Nothing